Saturday, 27 December 2008

A big 3

Haven't blogged in a while - I've got out of the sync of it and to be honest didn't know what to blog about. Life is crazy and has taken many turns, all of which I could write a book about - but that' for another time.

Today my Lily turned 3! I'm a bit of an old sop when it comes to milestones and looking back at those key moments in life that change you.
I've just come into our bedroom after my usual nighttime routine of checking all is well with the girls. Lily is wrapped up in her new princess duvet and sound asleep.
She really is my princess.
Minnie mouse is in her usual position - tucked tight under the arm with the label sticking out. Rebecca rabbit is the new addition bought today from build-a-bear - a whole 2 hour wait for the princess to get her birthday pressie.

But my big baby sleeps and I realise how 3 years have flown past my eyes. But I look back and realise how much I've grown up. I can remember my first night in hospital with this bundle beside me wondering how the flip I was ever going to manage. It freaked me out how this little life depended so much on me. And now it feels as thought I'm an old hat at it all.

I used to hear people say all the time how kids change you! The very core of my being is still the same of course, but I totally know that something in me has changed.
I've a new appreciation of time - that's for sure lol. It's amazing how much I can do in just 1 hour without the kids.

The girls have definitely brought a whole new meaning to 'love'.
It's definitely true that you experience a whole new side to love when you become a parent.
I had an epiphany of God's love whenever I had Lily, and I'm still overwhelmed at the author of love as I watch Him at work in my family.

No matter what - my girls will always be my girls. There's no changing that. Even though they have their grumpy days, sad days, and days when they spend more time on the naughty step - I love them to bits. It's unconditional!!
My thoughts towards my angels are still only a proportion of what God feels about us. And that is the coolest thing.

I know my love for Lily and Josie - is only a fraction of how much God loves them.

During the summer while on holiday in France, Lily had a bad cough. It was starting to move into her chest and once again I was living with this fear that she was going to get a chest infection and end up in hospital.
I can remember having a little moment with God at around 4am whilst everyone else was sound asleep. I had nipped into Lily's room and started to pray over her. The more I prayed, it seemed she coughed all the more, and the more she coughed the more I got frustrated. A moment came when I cried out to God in anger as I shouted my frustrations at Him. I would rather take that cough that have Lily have to bear it. And in that beautiful moment I heard Him say the same thing.
I can't tell you how much that moved me - to not only know that God would do that, but to know and believe that Jesus actually did it.

I totally get how I would do anything for my kids - literally anything.

And the greatest truth is - it's the same with God. He would do anything for us - in fact He's already done it. It is finished!!!