There is No Shadow.....

I had a moment of revelation this morning while I was listening to one of Griffsers songs! Sometimes you can sing away to a song and totally disconnect from the words - but I found myself this morning in my car having a light bulb switch on moment.
I've listened to this song 'Refuge' a lot recently and I totally love it. There are some songs that ring out great truths about God and this for me is one of them.

The refrain declares 'unchanging God, There is no shadow of turning with you' - another phrase from another hymn that I've sang a million times.

But I started to really meditate on that particular phrase this morning - and that simple truth that God is unchanging, to the point that he doesn't move or waiver on what he thinks - he remains the same. There literally is no movement in his shadow - he's the same.

I guess I've read a lot recently and it really has me concerned that there are some people who really believe that on one hand God is good, God is love, God is for us etc etc, yet on the other hand He's handing crap cards out to people in the form of sickness, poverty, and anything else negative in life.

I sometimes think that the majority of Christians/Churches have done a pretty poor job of teaching on suffering. There is no denying it - we do live in a fallen world, a world in which Satan is roaming about, where he is doing all he can to deceive and fool everyone. I think the biggest deception ever is this misconception that our good God can quite happily let bad things happen.

God's heart is 100% breaking when he looks at this suffering world. It's not what he planned at all!! Our God is not handing out sickness one day and healing the next, he's not providing for us one day and then taking it all back the next.
Bad things do happen, yet most Christians are quite happy to point the finger at God with not a second thought at accusing our real enemy.
Either God is good or He is not!!!
He does not put bad things into our lives to teach us a lesson or help us depend on him.
That is really bad parenting - and as a mum who isn't perfect in comparison to Him, I would never even dream of mistreating my kids to help them learn - that is sick.

God has the amazing ability to turn our struggles in this life around to His good purposes.

The Church needs to start answering those difficult questions that people have, instead of always turning horrible situations into a "well it was part of God's plan, He knows best, He is in control".
It breaks my heart when I talk to people who have walked through difficulties and they genuinely think God put that in their life to teach them something.

I totally believe that God is a good God, who doesn't change. He is the same yesterday, today and forever and His purpose has been the same since the beginning of time - to be in relationship with us and lavish us in His goodness and love.

It is Satan, the deceiver and Father of lies who is robbing us of this truth - God is For us!!

And this is the song that inspired this post!! A personal favourite these days, this guy is one to watch

REFUGE (Ryan Griffith - Griffsers lol)
God is our refuge and our strength
An ever present help
Therefore I shall not fear
Though the earth gives way
and mountains fall
though it's waters rise
and my world may shake

Our God is the shelter in the storm
Our God is the one who won't let go
Our God he remains the same
Yesterday Today Forever
He will never change

God of great wisdom and of love
My times are in your hands
You're the hope on which I stand
Though the earth gives way
and mountains fall
though it's waters rise
and my world may shake

Unchanging God
There is no shadow of turning with you

Do resolutions work???

I've just revisited the blog I posted exactly a year ago. My goal for 2008 was to read through the entire bible cover to cover twice. 7 chapters a day!!! Did I do it??

Well before you laugh, and before I make up a terrible excuse as to why I failed miserably - I have to say that this little challenge without a doubt stirred up a new passion and hunger for more of the word of God. After a few months into it I realised that I had actually turned this into a chore. It became more about me ticking the boxes to say I'd done it - than actually enjoy it. I'm not making that the excuse for stopping - because in fact I probably read more than that some days. 2008 has definitely been the year of the word. I don't even think my words could justify the journey I've been on this year.

Some of you who read my blog and know me will understand more about that journey. Gods word has the most incredible way of shaking you up, making you fell uncomfortable and it challenges your life in the most gentle, loving way. It really is great - and for the first time in years, I experienced a true excitement as I picked up that book.

I'm almost certain that it was Peter Jordan who said this when he preached one night in CFC - he said that the hardest bits in the bible where in fact the bits that where really easy to understand. You know those bits - the parts that are totally black and white, there's no reading between lines or taking opinions or history into account - it's there, plain and simple!! Easy to understand - and it unsettles you to your very core because you know that your thinking is so far away from that.

I've learnt a lot this year from that book. I've realised that for a long time I've let my life dictate that book. I've let my life mould IT - and made it fit my life. When my experiences in life contradict what God's word actually say, I've chosen to believe what's in front of my nose because that appears more real. What I see has been my reality.

But thats not what it's about at all. Whenever you take God's word as fact - boy does it start messing with your cosy little world.
When you're walking through sickness and God's word clearly says that 'by his stripes you are healed'
When you walking through financial difficulty and God's word says that 'he's your provider - worry for nothing, like the lillies
When you feel ashamed, guilty and so far from God - yet his word says you are holy, righteous and have the very nature of Jesus on the inside of you.

This stuff totally messes things up - and this year I've been challenged as to what I actually believe. Do I believe in God in the middle of my mess - or do I focus on the mess so much that there's no room for God.

When you read the bible and read about the great men of faith (in that amazing chapter in Hebrews) you realise what it was that made them different from the people around them. They believed God's word in spite of the physical circumstance that was the opposite of what God said.
Abraham walked around childless for 40 years with a name that declared he was the father of many.
Noah trusted the word so much so that he built a boat, was mocked because it was a ridulous thing to do - yet he believed.
There's so many examples - but you get the point!

I think there is a great challenge in all of this. Because the truth is - God kept his promise to all these people. Because God is faithful, true to his word - and our part is to have faith in that word.

Whatever God has promised you (and that book lists them all - if you're a child of God) - keep holding on to it. He is faithful, he is good - don't let life tell you otherwise. Keep standing on the word, renew your mind and let it change your world. What's my resolution this year ?? To keep on pressing on

A big 3

Haven't blogged in a while - I've got out of the sync of it and to be honest didn't know what to blog about. Life is crazy and has taken many turns, all of which I could write a book about - but that' for another time.

Today my Lily turned 3! I'm a bit of an old sop when it comes to milestones and looking back at those key moments in life that change you.
I've just come into our bedroom after my usual nighttime routine of checking all is well with the girls. Lily is wrapped up in her new princess duvet and sound asleep.
She really is my princess.
Minnie mouse is in her usual position - tucked tight under the arm with the label sticking out. Rebecca rabbit is the new addition bought today from build-a-bear - a whole 2 hour wait for the princess to get her birthday pressie.

But my big baby sleeps and I realise how 3 years have flown past my eyes. But I look back and realise how much I've grown up. I can remember my first night in hospital with this bundle beside me wondering how the flip I was ever going to manage. It freaked me out how this little life depended so much on me. And now it feels as thought I'm an old hat at it all.

I used to hear people say all the time how kids change you! The very core of my being is still the same of course, but I totally know that something in me has changed.
I've a new appreciation of time - that's for sure lol. It's amazing how much I can do in just 1 hour without the kids.

The girls have definitely brought a whole new meaning to 'love'.
It's definitely true that you experience a whole new side to love when you become a parent.
I had an epiphany of God's love whenever I had Lily, and I'm still overwhelmed at the author of love as I watch Him at work in my family.

No matter what - my girls will always be my girls. There's no changing that. Even though they have their grumpy days, sad days, and days when they spend more time on the naughty step - I love them to bits. It's unconditional!!
My thoughts towards my angels are still only a proportion of what God feels about us. And that is the coolest thing.

I know my love for Lily and Josie - is only a fraction of how much God loves them.

During the summer while on holiday in France, Lily had a bad cough. It was starting to move into her chest and once again I was living with this fear that she was going to get a chest infection and end up in hospital.
I can remember having a little moment with God at around 4am whilst everyone else was sound asleep. I had nipped into Lily's room and started to pray over her. The more I prayed, it seemed she coughed all the more, and the more she coughed the more I got frustrated. A moment came when I cried out to God in anger as I shouted my frustrations at Him. I would rather take that cough that have Lily have to bear it. And in that beautiful moment I heard Him say the same thing.
I can't tell you how much that moved me - to not only know that God would do that, but to know and believe that Jesus actually did it.

I totally get how I would do anything for my kids - literally anything.

And the greatest truth is - it's the same with God. He would do anything for us - in fact He's already done it. It is finished!!!

Grace and Faith

It's been a while since I blogged. Life is busy busy buys at the mo.

I've been studying Grace and Faith recently. My year so far has been a bit crazy, but brilliant all the same. I remember way back at the beginning of the year reading a book about Grace - and it blew my mind. That book really spoke to me, and I was gently reminded that my walk with God should not be based on performance. That he loves me for me - not because of what I do.
The middle of my year has lead to me studying Faith.
It almost seems that there is a bit of a conflict between these 2 things. With faith there is an element of 'us' having to do something.

My blog about belief/unbelief seemed to stir a few waters so to speak. I know some people where concerned that I was putting Lily's healing onto my own shoulders. But I really want to stress that is not what we are doing.

I guess in the church - it's either Grace or Faith at times. It seems that way anyway.

I was reminded when I read Ephesians this morning - "that it's by grace you have been saved through faith....."
Both go hand in hand - you can't have one without the other. It's incorrect to sway to either side.
It's not incorporating the whole truth when we do this.
Grace and Faith - should be a beautiful collision, as Dave Crowder put it.

We believe in the Grace of God, but we appropriate that Grace through Faith. The 2 go hand in hand.

I've more to say about this, but it's really late......

The joys of blogging so close to midnight lol

Jn316

So some of you might know that when Boydo gets something into his head he pretty much does it, no matter how ridiculous it might be.
This has lead to random spontaneous decisions of 'I'm going to America next week' and the best of all his announcements 'I think I want to go to France - I've booked a flight for tomorrow'.
There's no stopping him really. I used to take his little comments with a pinch of salt, but now I proceed with caution.
I dread to think sometimes what he'll come up with next - we watched a movie last night all about vineyards. "Jill, would you kill me if I bought a vineyard?" So watch this space lol.

His most recent, and in fairness harmless mission involved him buying a map of the world. I get a phone call to work with an excited Aaron on the other end declaring he's found the best picture for our bedroom. Knowing that it's highly unlikely my opinion may matter in light of his excitement - we make the decision to go for it.
"It's a pretty big picture - is that cool?"
"Well how big is big?"
"Jill, it's going to look cool...."

So I arrive home from work to find Aaron building a frame that took up our entire living room floor.
This pretty big picture is now taking up the entire wall space on my side of the bed.
Geography was never my strong point - so it's been very educational.

I'm amazed though that at the size of the world. When the word Belfast is actually bigger on the map than Ireland is - you begin to grasp that it is a big place.
We've always talked about changing the world - but when you look at the size of it, it's pretty freaky. Where do you start?

I woke up this morning to Josie climbing on my face and Lily and her cold feet walking over my legs. But when I kicked them out of the room I stood staring at the map again.
John 3v16 came to mind - and I was blown away for a few minutes as I realised that this work of changing the world started years before.
And it started with love.

God loves the whole world.... every bit of it. The bits we don't like, the people who crack us up, the people who hate us, love us.... whatever! He loves it all.

I don't know about you, but I find it hard enough sometimes to love everyone in 'my little world' - so the truth about God's love, neverending, unchanging, unconditional means the world to a broken world.

I want with all my heart to love like that - but I know that that kind of love only comes from Love himself - God!!!

GOD IS LOVE

Unbelief

I've had such a growth spurt in the last 2 months. It's taken a while but I've had a complete revelation on healing, Lily, life, faith, belief, gospel - my world and thoughts have dramatically changed.

I know I haven't blogged in a while - I guess I just didn't know how to formulate into words what's racing round in my brain. But I'm going to give it a shot now.
Some of you might call me crazy - might even call the men in white coats - but hey - I'm living the dream.

I've been looking back over the last 2 years and trying to figure out this whole Lily and cystic fibrosis saga. I know now what my coping mechanism was. It was to ignore it. I didn't go crazy, I didn't get hysterical - I simply chose to ignore it. We prayed for healing - it didn't happen, and I know that I stopped asking. There was something in me that didn't want this affecting my view of who God was and is. He is our healer - but hadn't healed Lily. You can do a few things with that, throw the head up with God, crawl into a hole, be hysterical and overwhelmed - or just refuse to let anything bother you. If she's healed, great, if she's not great.
I stopped worrying about it - knowing that yes God was in control, but I didn't want the questions of 'why isn't this healing happening' getting in the way.

I've been so apathetic with this! My daughter with her life threatening condition - and I'd just accepted it. She looks good and to be honest we'd got so used to 'managing' it, that it was second nature.
Josies arrival has definitely made a difference. I've a completely healthy girl there - and if this did anything, it highlighted how much we actually have to do with Lily.
A few visits to CF websites had me totally scared that I would outlive my daughter and the harsh reality sunk in that this was serious. The drugs where masking it and doing a great job - but this needs to be dealt with. I don't want it anymore.

This has lead to me chasing after healing. I've been reading like there's no tomorrow and in many ways it's been sprinting after it.
The biggest revelation I guess I've had is that God did not make Lily sick. We're not a special couple who have been blessed with a sick child. God indirectly will teach us something because of this but did not cause it to teach us something - and the big part - God definitely wants Lily well.

I know this sounds really basic - but Jesus bore our sin and sickness on the cross. We have no doubt whatsoever in believing that our sins are gone, but our sickness??? Why do we find it so hard to believe.
The sin part is easy - or is it? We can't see if it's been dealt with. We have no way of proving it. But yet for many of us - we totally believe that Jesus has dealt with it. Our sickness on the other hand is a totally different story. This is the part that involves a physical sign.

Believe and you will receive..... what a simple phrase, but yet it's so flippin hard.

Lily's healing is totally dependent on us believing. God has already provided her healing. It's there - it's our for the taking. And the only thing that's stopping us from getting it is us. It's not God. He's is our healer!!! He just doesn't choose to heal some people depending on his mood. He's the same yesterday, today and forever. Jesus healed everyone - and in doing so demonstrated the will of God.
It is all about us believing.
That sits so much better with me than viewing God as someone who heals sometimes. I always knew that there had to be some formula for healing. I just didn't think it would be this simple - just believe!!

How profound - but yet crazy!

Healing is there - just grasp it!

What a journey - there is tons more to say, but my hand is sore typing lol plus it's dead late.

This is such a ramble, but there's way too much rattling round in here that I can't do it justice.

Your fame, Your renown

"Your fame, your renown" has become a little catchphrase that's been rattling around my significant other ever since his return from the Passion regional in LA.

I've become fascinated recently with that movement and I find it so exciting to see something come out of people getting together and not just worshipping God, but serving as well. As far as I know at each regional event this year, they've collected towels and socks for to give out to........( mmm I don't actually know who), but they're giving them away to people who I guess need towels and socks.
These students have been giving their ever so precious pennies to help build wells in Africa.

I know the socks and towel thing is random, and I must actually find out what they did with them, but it's the whole fact that they're doing something.
Spending time in the presence of God should really birth mission of some size. Too often I think we all come together in our separate Christian bubbles - (heavens forbid we could all agree to be in the same bubble - but that's another rant for another time) - and do the lovely thing we call church and go home feeling good about ourselves.

I love seeing people just doing stuff for the kingdom. It's inspiring in every way.

We where talking in cell the other night about how we reach our communities. Of course all the right answers of serving, helping, praying etc all came out - but then Toogood threw the spanner that the greatest thing we can ever do for our neighbours is to tell them the good news of Jesus (as cheesy as that sounds). But he's right. Doing all the good acts of serving is great and it builds in relationship to tell people about God.
I'm thinking though that we are in danger of missing the purpose of the serving and chicken out of the telling....... kinda like show and tell..... we need to do both. We can serve and do good things all day long but all that makes us is good people. It's only when we bring God into it do we become good servants of the King and that's what makes the difference.

There's the 2 extremes I guess - the street preaching yelling the tell bit and then the being in the world lot of us who try to make Jesus known through our actions.
The 2 really need to go together. Well that's what I think anyway!!