Bad Googling.....

I went online last night with the intentions of ordering some Christmas Cards from the Cystic Fibrosis Trust. Every little helps in the fight to find a cure!
I think I may have made the fatal error of having a wee nosey round their site. Something I haven't done in the 2 years of Lily being here and being diagnosed with that condition believe it or not. And it has totally freaked me out.

There's everything on there - including a 'star in the sky' memorial page, for families to assign a star to the person they've lost to CF. It's hard to close the page - so I found myself clicking on several stars just to see the faces of people who have lost their lives to this condition. The positive thing was that most of recent additions where adults - but all around 30. It does show that the survival age/rate has increased, but on the down side there still is no cure.

So instead of closing the page I went on another search to see what I could find. And I found blogs, bebo pages all dedicated to spreading the awareness of the condition.

Like it or not, this condition affects us. I don't want to outlive my daughter - who does? That's not the way it should be.
If anything it's made even more anxious about her healing. I believe God is protecting her, but to see her healing manifest itself is really what I long for.

I guess when I look at Lily I don't see someone who is sick - anything but. Facts tell me though that as she gets older the disease in theory should present itself more clearly. She'll be admitted to hospital for most of her life - till she eventually might struggle breathing.

So what do we do in moments like this?

Do I choose to believe the facts - expecting this chain of events to occur in Lilys life? Do I accept that, because someone or a website tells me that it's going to happen?

How easy it is to believe doctors. But as intelligent as they are - they don't have the last word. There's a name bigger than cystic fibrosis, in fact bigger than any disease or illness. It's not as in your face believable as the so-called 'facts' so it's not as easy to accept the chain of events that can take place through faith in this name.

But the truth is as a Christian - I should have more trouble believing the facts and the natural than believing the spiritual because the spiritual should be the reality in my life. The spiritual declares health, healing and wholeness - and that needs to be reality. That needs to be fact.

I guess this is what is known as living by faith and not by sight.

So I'm choosing faith - and refuse to accept this so called chain of events for Lily.